interview by Lara Monro

Agnes? has made waves in London with her most recent exhibition, Transgenesis. Spending twenty-three consecutive days in the abandoned Belsize Park leisure centre, performing for eight hours straight, Agnes? has welcomed visitors to watch in awe as we see her transform into a larger-than-life, human-octopus creature, a form that symbolizes both life and death. Transgenesis, meaning one or more DNA sequences from another species being introduced by artificial means, is explored by Agnes? through her experience of transitioning from male to female. Since beginning her transition, Agnes? has explored the symbolic connotations behind water and its relationship to her experiences of ‘mutating’ from one being to another, using the liquid to wash down her hormone drugs, an action that is simultaneously transformative and destructive all in one swallow. 

Agnes? takes the viewer on an immersive tour of their brilliant mind, sound-tracked by the sinister yet serene sound design of Portamento. As if walking into an abandoned leisure centre off a quaint residential street isn’t exciting enough, she leads you down a womb-like tunnel with fetal sculptures lining the silicon path into a room laden with white sand, beautiful, sea-creature-esque sculptures, and a large sculptural water feature that looks as if it could be Poseidon’s crown. From here you pass the changing and spa treatment rooms up to the next level where Agnes? is suspended, genderless — half-human, half sea creature — above the empty swimming pool, breathing meditatively with arms moving gently and instinctively. A visual and sound overload, it is a powerful work of art as we observe Agnes? embracing perpetual self-transformation. 

The exhibition was organized by Arturo Passacantando, Tommasso de Benedictis (The Orange Garden) & Charlie Mills, in partnership with Harlsden High Street. 

LARA MONRO: Did you have a process when entering into your transformative state for the eight-hour-a-day performance?

AGNES?: My performance began when I let Agnes? live through me. To become is a constant process of construction and deconstruction. I had to accept destruction in my life in order to embrace the creation of a new being. When I arrived in London, I decided to start my hormone therapy to feel the transformation in my own body. I was ready for the performance. I knew I was going through a process of self-destruction and pain that would lead me to a new life.

My routine started with a destruction: anti-androgen. I would wake up and take a pill to block the production of testosterone. Then liquid breakfast, stretching, and pilates. I remember feeling like a kid not wanting to go to school, but had no other choice. Getting ready for the performance, entering in the costume, sticking my microphone with super glue, wearing my mask, gloves and ready for 8 hours of holding my breath. In and out, inhale and exhale and my testosterone was being blocked. While the audience experienced the creation of a hybrid post-human creature, my body was physically experiencing a real change.

My routine ended with a creation. Right before going to bed, I would take estrogens to induce female traits into my body. And repeat for twenty-three days.

MONRO: Are there any viewer responses to your performance that really stood out over the twenty-three days?

AGNES?: One of the most beautiful things about my performance was the connection I created with each viewer. I stood and shared a moment with them, and everyone was so different. I received almost four thousand visitors through the twenty-three days, the show went viral on social media. Some days the room was filled with people, all quiet, all connected with me, holding breath, being mesmerized and shocked by the divine creature in front of them. Other times, the room was empty and I would feel the emptiness inside. The energy of the room really changed according to the visitors, they were a fundamental part of the performance. I also had special visitors that I would see repeatedly and with whom I made a special connection. One man came almost every day. He would stand in front of me and dance for hours. It was sweet, it felt like he wanted to give me strength. 

Someone cried, someone laughed, someone looked at me for one second and then left, others came for one picture or believed I was a robot.

MONRO: Can you tell me more about the importance of water for your creative practice?

AGNES?: Water is an element of becoming, of infinite possibilities, and transformation. It is an element that changes and mutates, that creates and destroys. Human beings have a very controversial relationship with it. We learn to swim before walking, we gestate in amniotic liquid, and share all our interaction through liquid movements. Everything and everyone is regulated by watery mutation. Water is the element that connects us all and allows us to become whatever we want.

I grew up by the sea, in my father’s boat. He is a sailor who navigated the world. I always had his image in my mind. However, I am still afraid of the sea and its mystery. I never had the control of it like my father does. When I dive underwater I feel in my own habitat, it brings me back to the womb. This is the experience I try to recreate with my installations and performances, the same experience of being inside the mother’s womb. In the amnios everything is possible, we are genderless, hybrid creatures yet to come.

MONRO: Do you feel the performance has been important for you and your transition/transformation into a new being?

AGNES?: To take hormones was a tough choice and was for me an organic process. I didn’t know I would do it until a few weeks before installing my show. When Covid happened, after a long self-analysis and catharsis, I realized I was Agnes? and suddenly had an urgent feeling and instinct to let her live. So I started to transform and change myself, my appearance, my behaviors, my way of talking. I was questioning what would Agnes? say? How would she dress? What would she do? Slowly I became Agnes?. Together with this change and break from my past I also had a strong break with my practice. I needed a transformation, so I dropped what I was doing and took a completely different direction. From ceramic I went to latex and wax, from creating plants, I started to create tentacular creatures. The octopus was the symbol of my transformation, a fluid genderless creature that has the great capability of transforming and adapting. 

I started to create a laboratory where scientific experiments on hybrid creatures were going on. I was questioning my own origin. While I was going to the doctor to know more about hormones and transitioning I was also reading about octopuses and their self-destructive behaviors. Everything was so deeply connected that I felt powerful. My work was leading my life and my life was leading my work. Everything made sense. One day, I looked at myself in the mirror and I knew I was ready to transition. So, I went to buy the medicines, but I waited until coming to London to start the therapy. It was important to me to arrive in London because it has always been my gestational place. 

The day I arrived, I introduced myself for the first time as Agnes?. Hearing that name felt empowering. I realized not only was I Agnes? as an artist but also as a human being.