Miami Art Basel is that magical time once a year, when the young and fabulous (and their sugar daddies) travel to paradise to see art and sleep with art dealers. Miami Art Basel is where editors brag about their fair trade hemp sandals while snorting cocaine that was brought into the country by a pregnant teenager. Miami Art Basel is where wet dreams come true and creative dreams are killed by two girls stabbing each other and therefore stealing attention from your performance art piece (dancing in leotards is a little 2008, tbh). Some people do look at art at Art Basel, because it’s their job to and because it’s raining too hard outside to say “screw it, I’ll get fired for the sake of a tan.” But for those of us who don’t know the difference between digital collages and foam sculptures, the week of Miami Art Basel was an excuse to go Hard As Hell (or HAH!) before the holy holidays. For those of us #blessed enough to be there, half the fun was making our Instagram followers who aren’t #blessed jealous of our poolside lounging. But the fun doesn’t have to end! The only thing your followers will hate more than seeing you enjoying Miami is seeing you bounce back afterwards. Click here to read the full detox guide.